Night.

Night is the time when there is so much silence that you can hear your heart crying, you can see the loneliness creeping in your pulse. It's too dark to find a single soul that dives into your eyes, sleeps on your lips, floats on your palm, and breathes on your chest. You hug a pillow, hoping it will hug you back; you kiss your hand thinking it will kiss you back. You want to break the darkness, thinking that you will see someone, your eyes closing of sleep but your mind still lost and burned in ashes. Still you sleep thinking that when you wake up, instead of sunlight, he will come and take you into his arms.

Anxiety.

My mood is better today. I was able to get to sleep earlier last night, however it wasn’t a smooth night. I’m susceptible to anxiety and it mostly manifests itself at night when I’m trying to sleep. But then at what point does anxiety flick a switch and decide that it wants to consume me for the next eight hours or so? One minute I’m me, and the next, “Hi, I’m an awkward anxious mess.” Not me. Someone else. Or no one else. Maybe I have vacated my body and all that’s left is an empty shell. 

Crowded.

I wish I knew what I wanted to say, and it's not even that I have nothing to say, it's just that my head is currently such a busy, crowded street with feelings and emotions bouncing off of each other. 

Do you ever feel..?

Like your chest has this terrible ache, that won’t go away? It hurts so badly, hurts more than anything you’ve felt before? Your stomach turns inside out, and you feel so raw. Your hot tears stream down your face and you can’t seem to catch your breath?