Breathe.

The streets comprise a melodic infrastructure tonight. They leave me the hurried stranger; the swooning lover. And each city light leaves a ghostly kiss in my mind and echoes another story I cannot live; burdens and joys. Each step I take is reminiscent of what isn't mine and each poem reflects on something I never had. I grieve over my collective fragments that are now lost inside the people I have met and spoken to. And I breathe in the air and pretend to inhale their fragments, their wants and hates, and pretend that they have given me as I have given them. 

Lost.

I want to get lost in the woods. Anywhere. I need to get lost. To zone out and lose all sense of reality. Refresh. Inspire. Start new. Lost.

I have come to realize that I trust people much too easily. When someone asks for my attention, I more than happily plunge into their gaze, smile to much, and listen too closely. I then create a false image of someone else on my own and believe their sincerity with my whole heart. Therefore, I am my own downfall, and there is no other to blame.

Eyelids.

My eyelids slide down like velvet curtains at last, across a wooden stage. Finally, the serenity sinks into the clawing depths of my mind. A calm overtakes the flickering lightening that is inside of me. 

Raining words.

Words fall like rain upon my beating heart, etching lines made of searing fire upon its crimson walls; they set my heart burning under their licking liquid flame. As my blood begins to simmer, I feel the storm brewing within my heart boil over. Lacing my mortal blood with God’s sweet thunder, I feel the lightening chain itself into my nerves, as it fires crossing bolts of surging blue light. As my body echoes the sirens savage song of these honeyed words, I feel the cool touch of serenity upon my brow. As my hand flies across the page, I let the stroke of my pen lash out with gleeful abandonment as I funnel this torturous fire through my pallid finger tips. A small smile upon my lips, I feel languid pleasure shift across my being as I find my release upon the sharp edge of a gilded pen.

I'm scared.

It’s all too much.

A tumult of half-frozen, emptied thoughts

rain down like snow, fall upon glass, crash, and then shatter into a thousand things-

pieces that break the skin, the frame of mind and leave drops of fear behind,

only washed away by all that’s left inside, submerged beneath the surface.

Would you believe all I want is to be heard? 

Yet silence falls so fast, my tongue held back by the fated shadow of its demand. 

It... it is the voice inside that finds me,

Rips apart all that would rise to life and leaves me here so breathless, lifeless, in need.

I asked for help, but help means moving forward, crawling closer to the terror raised on a thousand wings.

Blown across the wind, it stings my eyes.

So how can freedom ever rest on a soul wave tossed and lost in the sea’s churning, and the storm’s wails?

Tell me, for I long to know.